The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #16

A fictional account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Sixteenth in a series.

Barack: Have you seen my latest approval ratings? Looking good!

Michelle: Yes. I saw them today. 60 percent is your highest point in 2 years. You get a fist bump!

Barack: Yes, yes! Looks like the independents are coming back. Catching Osama sure has helped!

Michelle: The Republicans are looking bad, huh?

Barack: Yeah and the Tea Party folks are mixing Jack Daniels in their tea! Ha ha ha!

Michelle: (hesitant laughter)

Barack: How are you feeling today?

Michelle: I am well. But we need to talk. I haven't mentioned these issues because I know you need to remain focused.

Barack: What is it now, Michelle? I haven't been smoking! And I haven't been farting on our girls!

Michelle: Don't be presumptive or crude, Barack. I have told you to watch what you say in public appearances.

Barack: Yeah, and...?

Michelle: Don't forget the goal, Barack. Re-election is the goal. Let's talk about that "moat" comment in El Paso the other day. Remember a few weeks ago when I told you to stick to the script?

Barack: I remember Michelle, but are you going to critique every comment I make?

Michelle: (hands on her hips, neck and head swaying) Damn right, I am! You are not alone in this. A lot of people are depending upon your re-election. Now, you promised to make immigration legislation a priority during your first year in office. You didn't and you should have! Latino voters are not dumb. The Democrats were in control of both houses your first couple of years in office. Case closed!

Barack: Yeah, but...

Michelle: But my ass! While I know that your supporters in the House and Senate plan to reintroduce the DREAM act, it is a political move. That's the nature of politics, I know. My concern is the silly jokes and off-the-cuff remarks. The US/Mexican border needs a solid plan not a "moat" with "alligators." Case closed!

Barack: Alright, I hear you. But I was making a case that the people needed to hear. The Republicans need to be called on their inability to humanize issues.

Michelle: True. But use your Harvard educated words and arguments to combat them. Case closed!

Barack: Yeah, but I...

Michelle: (hands on hips, neck and head swaying) How often do I have to keep closing this case?

Barack: What else?

Michelle: I think you could have handled the Deborah Burlingame situation differently. I do understand why you won't talk to Eric about ceasing the probe on CIA interrogation methods, however, you could have afforded Deborah a modicum of respect. Turning your back on her while meeting with the 9/11 victims families the other day and walking away was disrespectful. The woman lost her brother during 9/11.

Barack: OK. Good point. I could have answered her differently and provided a better physical response. I was caught off guard by the question.

Michelle: You wanted to be President. Man up! You were trained at Harvard. You worked in Chicago, Barack. You should never be caught off guard.

Barack: Wow. I was feeling good about my approval ratings. Now I feel like sh...

Michelle: A wife supports her husband. She also privately gets in his butt when he screws up. For better or for worse, remember?

Barack: I remember.

Michelle: Yes. And while you are celebrating your approval ratings, which you should be proud of - but I might add, are only temporary - you need to keep your eye on possible Republican competition.

Barack: Who? Sarah Palin? Does she even know where Washington DC is on a map? (laughing) Or Newt "the Toot" Gingrich? I know you aren't talking about Donald "the Dump" Trump. (laughing)

Michelle: Mike Huckabee is likable in the black community and appeals to many segments of the country.

Barack: No worries!

Michelle: And you need to watch for Herman Cain.

Barack: Herman who?

Michelle: My point exactly. I have to go meet with my staff. Try and be more 'Presidential.' Case closed!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough