The Morning Conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama #15

A fictional account of the private morning conversations of Barack & Michelle Obama by Dexter Yarbrough. Fifteenth in a series.

Michelle: You sure have had a few successful nights, haven't you?

Barack: Not bad, Michelle! Not bad! This beats not going to the royal wedding!

Michelle: Well, the "powers that be" are happy with your performance. Attention is now diverted from your birth certificate, high gas prices and high unemployment. The Republicans are looking goofy right about now.

Barack: Michelle, stop kidding around. You know that isn't true! Capturing Osama was high on my list.

Michelle: Well, we are both lawyers and you know what the defense would say in a case like this.

Barack: What?

Michelle: Where is the body?

Barack: C'mon Michelle! We explained that. He was killed in a firefight, his body identified and then buried at sea.

Michelle: Suuuure, Barack! Seems pretty convenient to me. Just in time for the anniversary of Hitler's death. I read on the Internet that Osama bin Laden died of natural causes back in December of 2001. Even President Bush often used "if" when referring to whether or not Osama bin Laden was alive. He even claimed that he wasn't a priority anymore. Want me to show you the clips?

Barack: Now, who are you going to believe? Me or that crap on the Internet?

Michelle: I'm just playing devil's advocate. I am a lawyer, duh! Just think...now the "American people" are patriotic again and won't mind the heightened security and the travel restrictions - even though there hasn't been an "attack" in ten years! And they won't be focusing on the race of a person for sometime. Except for Arabs. They have been hoodwinked again! (winking one eye)

Barack: Cut it out, Michelle! Stop kidding!

Michelle: OK. But you know the critics will start asking these questions and coming up with these theories. Just trying to prepare you. Congratulations, honey!

Barack: Thanks! I couldn't be more proud of our military and CIA operatives. What a great time for Americans!

Michelle: It's me you are talking to, Barack. Not the press.

Barack: Oh, right!

Michelle: I love the way you took it to that toupee wearing loudmouth the other night at the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Did you see his face?

Barack: Yeah! He was red hot! I almost laughed at him while up on the stage. I was trying hard to keep a straight face! (laughing hysterically)

Michelle: Oooh! And when Seth Meyers called him a "joke," I almost jumped on the table when I saw his face! Lawd, Lawd, Lawd that was funny! (laughing hysterically)

Barack: Can you believe he was angry? After all that shit he says about me! What a wimp. He acts all tough.

Michelle: I bet he went home and cried to his wife! Is he still married?

Barack: Ha ha ha!! He probably fired someone! Ha ha ha!! (laughing intensely)

Michelle: Ha ha ha!! What a joke! First he was a Republican, then changed to the Democratic Party, now he is a Republican again. People are starting to see through his crap, I hope.

Barack: Hey! I even got a ding in against Matt Damon!

Michelle: That simple bas----!

Barack: Michelle!

Michelle: OK. OK.

Barack: Did you hear that there are some folks that believe the world is going to end on May 21st?

Michelle: Of course. It's all over the Internet.

Barack: What do you think?

Michelle: I think the plan worked. Now you can engineer some major catastrophe that day where millions of people will disappear, signifying you - the Messiah - have arrived!

Barack: (looking at Michelle)

Michelle: (looking at Barack)

Barack and Michelle: (start laughing hysterically)

Barack: Gotta go and deal with the press! See you later. (kisses Michelle)

Michelle: Congratulations again on getting Osama bin Laden! I love you!

Stay Tuned for More 'Morning Conversations...' with Barack & Michelle Obama, next time!

Copyright 2011 - Dexter Yarbrough